Sunday, June 28, 2009


So I have been interested in meeting this guy that I would see out at a bar for quite some time now. The thing is, I exude cowardice when it comes to approaching guys. Most of the time I've had a really hard week and I don't feel like ruining my night by getting turned down by a guy (since that is what I automatically assume is going to happen). The rest of the time I am just not confident enough to do something like that. I feel that it is the only confidence I still need to acquire at this point in time.

When it comes to things like talking to random people, dancing like no one is watching, being who I am, and standing up for what I believe in I am more than .............. For some reason I just can't talk to guys. I guess it's because I have never actually done it before. The other guys that I have talked to have been friends of friends, so the ice had already been broken so-to-speak.

Finally, one of my friends decided that it was ridiculous and that something needed to happen because he was tired of listening to contemplate an approach and ultimately deciding against it. So he went and said something to him and he came over and introduced himself to me. HOWEVER, he did not give me his number, he said he would "facebook" me. At the time, I was just so tickled pink that he was even talking to me that I wasn't really thinking about what he was saying. The next morning no friend request and I thought about it. He totally denied me, HARD.

The thing that pisses me off the most though is that he didn't just tell my friend he wasn't interested, he just decided to come over, get my hopes up, and not follow through. This whole situation has not helped my confidence. As a matter of fact, it's gonna take a little while for me to get over this one. It was my first real attempt (and it wasn't even so much mine, as my friend doing the work for me), and it failed, miserably I might add. Ugh, just so depressing. This is one instance where being right is no fun at all. Hopefully making some money will make me feel better. Honestly if you can imagine the personification of "Ugh", you are imagining exactly what I look like as I type this lol. UGH!

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