Friday, July 31, 2009

Updates, Updates, Updates

1 - I am, for some reason, dying of anticipation to see ryansumner's new blog. I don't know why, but I am. I mean it's a blog... I guess I'm just that much of a dork, whatevs.

2 - Cali was "hella" fun! I had a blast there. It was more than amazing to see Cassie, I miss her dearly already. The castro was so much fun as well. The crowd wasn't really that old in the places that I had gone to (some people told me it was going to be). The weather is so much better there as well. No Humidity = Heaven on Earth!!! I did some sight-seeing and whatnot, but all around the trip was a huge success.

3 - I'm getting old and loving it. I don't mean physically old. I mean old in terms of responsibility. I was thinking about it the other day. I am now fiscally responsible for myself. My loans (which are cosigned by my parents but are in my name) have just come in. They are going to cover my tuition and rent for the year. I have my job at Chang's which will more then amply support my lifestyle during my school year. My lifestyle during the school year consists of eating, sleeping, hiding in the library, and occasionally going out, and if I'm working weekends the last one won't even occur as often.
So all-in-all I won't be dependent upon my parents for too many things. There are some things that they still cover, but depending on how much money I'm making I'm gonna try and start covering my phone bill on top of all the other things that I am already paying for with my job.
I'm really excited about this. It's so liberating. I know my parents are more than willing to fully support me through college, and they have told me this on countless occasions, but I'm just getting tired of it. I'm tired of asking for money. I'm tired of them paying for thing that I could potentially pay for on my own accord. So I'm doing it and I feel great about it.

Let's just hope I'm not biting off more than I can chew with my class load this semester. My ChemBE program isn't #3 in the nation because it's easy :).

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Slackage...

So, again, I'm sorry that I haven't really been writing in my blog all that often. I've been really busy with work and getting ready for california, and I really just don't see the point in listing off what I did on some random day, when I have nothing important to write about. Sorry. Anyways, I will be gone for a week in Cali, and there isn't anyway I'm gonna have or want time to write in my blog or make a video. Just thought I should give you guys a heads up. Later.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Sweatshirts.

Have you ever just taken a second to look at the people around you? I do, a lot. I can't help but wonder how they got there. How did they get to that exact point in time, that they are standing right there for me to walk by them? Most people, most normal people, ignore these sentiments all together. I find myself not paying attention at all and simply thinking about where they may have been.

On the other hand is it really all that miraculous. If one small detail of their life before this moment had changed would it make a difference, or would they still be there, just a little different?

To be honest I find the prior much more interesting than the latter. The thought of there being one extraordinarily specific chain of events that spanned decades that led them to this exact spot is astonishing to say the least. At least in my eyes.

I kind of had one of these experiences myself you know. My junior year of high school, I was over my friends house after school. I happened to leave my sweatshirt there. I went to pick it up the next day and when I retrieved it, my friend's mom who happened to be my swim coach remembered that she had a letter for me that she had forgotten about until that day. It was a recruiting letter from hopkins. I got the letter only days before early decision applications were due. Had I simply remembered to grab my sweatshirt from his couch, I probably wouldn't be here typing this right now. I remember that day, it still gives me goosebumps because it is such a good example of how things happen. The chain reaction of events catalyzed by a misplaced sweatshirt.

Well that's just what I'm thinking about, but I have work tomorrow and I need to sleep. Goodnight.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Inquiry.

Here's my inquiry. If you are a closet case, and you have seen one of your best friends completely come out, what is stopping you? I have a friend that I am damn near sure is gay. However, he refuses to come out. I'm sure you are wondering, "Why does it matter?" Well the reason why it matters, is because I know for a fact he will be happier. My reasoning being that I am happier, therefore why wouldn't he be. He watched me every step of the way in my coming out, hell I lived with the guy.

I just don't understand what's stopping him. It's not like his hometown is too much different than mine. Even if it is a little worse, there's no way he can say that I didn't have it hard at home. Aside from that, I was still so much happier even while my Dad had shunned me. It just doesn't make sense to me. I know that he might not be ready, but I just know that he is wasting his life hiding. His peers, his family, his friends are all mature enough to handle what he needs to tell them.

I feel like he has attempted to tell me a few times, or drop hints, but I still can't bring myself to just ask him flat-out because I remember how much it hurt when someone did that to me. I wasn't ready, I was still "unsure" (or tricked myself into thinking I was unsure), and it really bothered me that someone "knew" before I did. I'm using quotations because I was sure and I did know, I was just in denial.

If you aren't going to come out, then at least try and act like you are straight. I mean come on, hitting on me isn't going to make me think you are straight. Just don't remind me that you are gay every time that I see you so I can stop feeling nervous and anxious for you. I want the best for my friends, but if they don't want the best for themselves then its a lost cause and I will not get in the middle of things. It's not my place.

I don't know if he reads my blog or not, but if he does he needs to know that he could tell me and I would not tell a soul until he's ready. I know how much better it feels just to have one person know. I also know how scary it is after you've actually uttered those unspeakable words. I UNDERSTAND, JUST TRUST ME!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

In a badddddddddddd mood.

I don't know why, but today I am just not in a good mood at all. I don't feel like dealing with people, especially stupid people, today. I realize that I have been neglecting my blog, but I have been less than inspired, and refuse to simply write in this for the sake of writing. That would make more an uninteresting and poorly written blog. Along with that reason, I have started my youtube back up so I have been posting on there as well.

I guess for the most part, I'm just busier than I usually am. I have been working a lot, and when I'm not working I'm usually doing something aside from hanging out in my apartment. So I apologize for that. I have no idea when I'm going to post again. Anticipation. Not really.

Friday, July 3, 2009

WORST DAY EVER!!!!

Today was one of the worst days of my life. I woke up this morning and got in my car to go the bank, and my car was making a noise that indicated my battery was dead. Thankfully after trying and retrying I was able to use the last small amount of voltage left in the dying battery to start my car. Once I did that I found the closest advanced auto parts address and phone number on my phone.

So I called to ask where they were located on this very long road that spans many of the cities I have come to know in maryland. The IDIOT on the phone sends me in the wrong direction. After driving for a half hour in the wrong direction, I turn around and call back. This time someone who isn't an invalid answered the phone and informed me that I was previously traveling in the wrong direction... THANKS. I finally made to the store after an hour and a half of driving, which put me there around 11. Mind you, I had work at noon and was still 20 minutes away from my work.

Like I said, I finally get there and no one is in the story and they have my battery and the tools to install it. I pay the 80 dollars, assuming he would be coming to install the battery that second. Wrong. An elderly person walks in. Of course, the other sales person can't help him, the guy that I need to put in my battery has to help him. Finally he installs the battery and I make it to work, on time. I thought this would be the end of my bad day, but no. I only made 12 dollars. Sick.

All of that trouble to rush to a shift where I made around 8 dollars an hour. So not worth it. At least I have the weekend off and I can relax. FINALLY! geeeze.