Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Inquiry.

Here's my inquiry. If you are a closet case, and you have seen one of your best friends completely come out, what is stopping you? I have a friend that I am damn near sure is gay. However, he refuses to come out. I'm sure you are wondering, "Why does it matter?" Well the reason why it matters, is because I know for a fact he will be happier. My reasoning being that I am happier, therefore why wouldn't he be. He watched me every step of the way in my coming out, hell I lived with the guy.

I just don't understand what's stopping him. It's not like his hometown is too much different than mine. Even if it is a little worse, there's no way he can say that I didn't have it hard at home. Aside from that, I was still so much happier even while my Dad had shunned me. It just doesn't make sense to me. I know that he might not be ready, but I just know that he is wasting his life hiding. His peers, his family, his friends are all mature enough to handle what he needs to tell them.

I feel like he has attempted to tell me a few times, or drop hints, but I still can't bring myself to just ask him flat-out because I remember how much it hurt when someone did that to me. I wasn't ready, I was still "unsure" (or tricked myself into thinking I was unsure), and it really bothered me that someone "knew" before I did. I'm using quotations because I was sure and I did know, I was just in denial.

If you aren't going to come out, then at least try and act like you are straight. I mean come on, hitting on me isn't going to make me think you are straight. Just don't remind me that you are gay every time that I see you so I can stop feeling nervous and anxious for you. I want the best for my friends, but if they don't want the best for themselves then its a lost cause and I will not get in the middle of things. It's not my place.

I don't know if he reads my blog or not, but if he does he needs to know that he could tell me and I would not tell a soul until he's ready. I know how much better it feels just to have one person know. I also know how scary it is after you've actually uttered those unspeakable words. I UNDERSTAND, JUST TRUST ME!

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