Sunday, August 23, 2009

First day off in forever...

I just went to lunch with one of biffles, and we were talking and in the midst of our conversation I realized that today was the first real day off I've had in like month. I don't mean that I've literally been working every single day, but if I had a day off I had already made plans for that day. For example, the past three weeks I have worked Thursday through Monday and then I would go home for Tuesday and Wednesday. That's not work, but it also is not relaxing in my apartment.

*So on this momentous occasion of no work or plans I shall write in my blog.*

Classes start in a little over a week. I'm actually pretty excited about it, I will be getting into my true coursework. No more general education classes, they will all be upper level ChemE electives that pertain to my concentration. Translation: Things I actually want to learn. So I am more than pumped about that. Aside from that, all of my friends will be back in town. I will have some sort of regular schedule to follow which will allow for a more productive lifestyle.

On top of all that, busier = less time to think about my pitiful love life, or lack-there-of. That will be very very nice and maybe something will happen while I'm hiding in my room/the library doing problem sets and studying... okay, maybe not lol. Oh well.

On a different note, I'm planning on getting a tattoo. I honestly can't wait to get it. I'm kind of scared lol. I still need to go get it priced out and what not, but after that is done I'm definitely going to do it. I'm gonna get the latin saying "nosce teipsum", which means "know thyself", on the inside of my left upper arm. I really like the idea and where it's going, it's just going to hurt like a bitch.

Well that's all I got for now, and I'm getting hungry. tee tee why elle.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Solitude

So I have come to a conclusion. I'm 85% sure that I am not going to find a significant other. I know, I know all of you are probably like "Oh Geeze, will you shut up!" Seriously though... You guys only know the person in the blogs and vlogs. You don't know how I carry myself while I'm out, or while I'm at work, or anywhere for that matter. Unless I'm smiling, which isn't all that often (I don't just smile because I can, I need a reason, it's just who I am), I look like an intense angry bitch or so I have been told. A.K.A not very approachable.

I'm not saying that I don't want to find someone, I'm just saying that is going to be exponentially harder for me to meet someone to date since they will have to get to know me pretty well at first to see the light at the end of the long, dark, bitchy tunnel that is my exterior. I think I'm ok with it too. I'm not happy about it, but I'm over being upset about it. This is who I am, if you don't like it fine, but I can't change who I am. I've tried multiple times.

Losing myself isn't worth finding someone else.

Numero uno is the most important to me. I'm also not saying that I'm going to be all alone, because somehow I make friends very easily. Which makes NO sense at all. As soon as the thought of "possible significant other" crosses my mind I must go into some sort of super bitch mode. SO, I'm not necessarily going to be alone. I'm just not going to have a partner/husband/boyfriend.

I also have a very slight intimation that I might be incredibly self-destructive in relationships, but I can't be sure since I haven't really had an actual super serious relationship. I think I have a colossal fear of being hurt, and in that one semi-relationship that I did have, I got hurt very very badly. Based on my logic its not really worth it to me, because I'm not one to be able to shake things off very easily. I'm an extraordinarily emotional person, and my emotions directly affect my thought processes and intellectual capabilities. I just don't know if I could handle the emotional roller-coaster ride that is all relationships, with the coursework that I am currently undertaking.

Geeze, I haven't written in here in a while. Sorry that its such a downer, but this is where I like to blow off steam. So feel the burn, bitches. Haha just kidding about that last part, talk to you guys later!